Perspective is an interesting thing and is often underrated. I wanted to talk about the importance of perspective and why we as individuals, as well as a society need to value it more. The reason I bring this up is because humans in general have a tendency to pity themselves over small shortcomings or unexpected “negative” events. I use quotes for negative because we often assume that something SO BAD or SO UNFAIR happened to us. Well…this is where perspective comes in and can change the way you view your situation and in turn, change your circumstances.
Ill start with a personal experience to demonstrate the importance of perspective. Recently I had a very peculiar situation where my life seemed to be falling apart all within a short amount of time (approx. 2 weeks). I totaled my car, lost all my money due to the accident, had to move back in with my parents, had to drop a class from my schedule, had barely any work, stopped talking to my best friend…the list goes on. It was a very difficult time but what got me through it was perspective. Although at times I would lose it and just have a mental breakdown, I kept at it and was able to dig myself out of that depressing hole. I will repeat what I have said in the past…”the mind is everything, what you think you become.” Once again, I want to mention that your thoughts are what rule you. Considering my circumstances I could have turned on the world, been upset with the hand I was dealt however I DECIDED...(you DO have the power to choose) to instead be grateful that I was alive, that although all my money was gone and I could not afford to live on my own I had shelter because my parents were willing to have me in their home, instead of being upset that I would have to extend my time at University I chose to be grateful for the extra time I was able to dedicate to the classes I am still enrolled in and projects I am involved in. Going through a rough patch with my best friend was one of the most painful things during that time, I needed to turn to someone and felt lost. However…dealing with all of these issues independently gave me just that…independence.
I finally realized how much power I had over my life. Everyone around you is NOT responsible for your happiness, you are the author of your own book. The people around you are the characters; whether they are a sentence, a paragraph, a chapter or part of the whole book depends on them. Don’t feel like you are responsible for others’ shortcomings or their happiness. I used to make it my duty to make sure I could make everyone around me happy and I learned that 1) it is impossible to make EVERYONE happy 2) throughout my attempts, I, myself was miserable.
Going back to the first point, let me just say it was mentally and emotionally exhausting to feel like you must make everyone happy. Most of the time I had no idea what I was saying, when I was saying it, or how it made me look. As long as I could make the people around me laugh was a good enough justification to participate in some not-so-wise endeavors. Personally, I knew I was a smart individual so it did not bother me much about what others thought of me. However, I was foolish to ignore how I appeared to others. Having that personal knowledge of your intelligence will get you nowhere, you have to make sure that others are able to see that you are an intelligent and capable person. This is not to show superiority (I do not care how highly you think of yourself), this is to demonstrate your strengths and be recognized for the right reasons.
…ANYWAYS…to get back on track, I had finally gained independence. I realized that it was NOT my goal to rely on others and it was not my mission to make sure everyone around me was happy. Ultimately that led me to the conclusion that all I could do to feel accomplished at the end of the day was to work; work towards my goals and ambitions. Instead of allowing the day to bore me, I got my shit together and decided to organize my life. I realized that I DID need a plan, most people need a plan if they want to succeed. Not all people, but for me I knew that if I wanted to be happy and feel like I have a purpose I needed to dedicate my time and efforts into something I was passionate about. I finally bought a planner (and actually used it) to manage my time. My planner is capable of showing me the work that I have done, am currently doing, the work that needs to be done, and the free time I have to do whatever I please. Being able to see and map out my time showed me how important time is and how much time I had wasted in the past.
…This brings me to my next point…TIME. The ability to see how I was spending my time in the past was almost depressing. It consisted of school, eating, family drama, casual drinking, too much Netflix, negativity…all in all, not my ideal life. I was able that recognize that in order to see a change in my life, I had to MAKE a change. I was responsible for the situations I was in. At the time I felt like I wasn’t responsible for my circumstances, it was easier to blame those around me. However, it turns out that although you cannot always control your surroundings, you are able to control yourself and how you react to unpleasant circumstances. Ill tell you one thing..
1. …COMPLAINING WILL GET YOU NOWHERE.
…(back on track) I have met so many people whose conversations consist of complaining about their daily lives; what they dislike about their situations, how their situation is ‘so unfair’, how they are incapable of changing their circumstances…etc. Let me just say, pathetic. I no longer have a tolerance for bullshit, and let me say that complaining is B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T. In order to progress and move forward you HAVE (yes, HAVE in all caps) to keep an optimistic view on life and think “what CAN I do?” instead of ‘i cant do this, change that, be this’…blah blah blah <-negative. Whether you like it or not, people do NOT want to be around negativity. Sure, some may participate in complaining (I understand its natural to vent), but keep it short, let it out, but do NOT let it rule your life. If you stay in a negative mindset, you will miss out all the beautiful experiences and wonderful opportunities that are ALL right there in front of your eyes, you just need to be proactive and go for them!
TO BRING THIS TO AN END…
Perspective people. Understand what it is and how much power you have over it. Any negative event in your life has the potential to be a blessing in disguise but you have to remain optimistic to see it. Count your blessings, you have SO many. Understand that our problems are FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS…we really don’t have much room to complain. Start seeing what you DO have instead of what you do not. Understand the power of the mind, and you will ALWAYS come out stronger. We all have difficulties and unpleasant experiences, regardless of who you are those experiences are LESSONS, lessons that allow us to grow stronger if we let them.
“we’re all in the same game; just different levels. Going through the same hell; just different devils” -Big D
and with that, have a thoughtful day ❤ VK